"Lover": Steph Piperis
Stephanie Marie Piperis is a friend. We met in college and now we work together in NYC. You may have seen her in my "Steph Cam" snapchats. Some would say, "I made that b*tch famous."
Steph and I share the same middle name, an ability to make an entire days conversation strictly out of jokes and a unique relationship with polar bears.
We have absolutely zero similarities in food preferences.
She brings out the funniest side of me and I like to assume that I do the same for her. If I asked her though - she'd probably just say, "what you think you're better than me?" And to that I'd say - "yes."
We take sketch writing classes together, but then she had to one up me with a killer stand up routine, because she thinks she's better than me.
In Conversation with Steph:
Illustrated by Edzer
What were you just thinking about?
Plugging in my phone.
(Steph is addicted to her phone.)
How do you choose which color shirt you're going to wear in the morning?
On Mondays and Tuesdays I wear my worst outfits. But it really comes down to laundry. If I have a clean blue shirt I'll wear that, but if my blue shirt isn't clean I won't wear that. But I have a few blue shirts so I actually might wear a blue shirt.
(She is currently wearing a blue shirt.)
How does it make you feel that I'm vegan?
It makes me upset, frustrated, confused and angry. I had the best mac and cheese of my life last week and you'll never experience it and that is sad. Also, meat protein is superior, as am I.
(Neither are true and I've never liked mac and cheese.)
What are you making for dinner?
I have left over macaroni and then I'm going to make more macaroni to go on top of that because I forgot to defrost my steak.
(Steph calls all types of pasta, "Macaroni.")
What is your favorite part about living in NYC?
There is a lot of food everywhere and that's important to me. It's fast moving and it's socially acceptable to weave in and out of people. Also, it's ok to be angry all the time.
What is your least favorite part about living in NYC?
How everyone is so angry all the time. What's that about?
What is your favorite movie quote?
I don't really have one, but I like to play that quote (on her phone) from The Departed when Mark Wahlberg says, "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe F yourself."
(Steph doesn't swear. She said "F.")
What are some things you hate?
Smelling like food. Buzzfeed. Eating in the sun. Eating in the wind. Lady bugs. Mushrooms. Katy Perry. And Limping. But mostly Katy Perry.
What is your favorite part about working with me everyday?
I like eating lunch with you because my lunches are always so much better.
(She puts her roast beef sandwiches in the microwave - you be the judge)
Get Social With Steph:
Follow her on Twitter for funny tweets: @StephPipes
Follow her on Instagram for scenic pictures: @StephPiperis
Follow her on Snap for whatever she does there: @sep343 (those are not her initials nor her favorite numbers)
Don't get social with Steph on Earth Day. She celebrates Earth Day privately.